#POWERFUL Bert Kreischer

Holla!!!!! to my Deathsquad Soldiers this Blog is for you crazy savages, if you don't know what Deathsquad is then am sorry your out the loop. I have been a big Joe Rogan Experience since almost the start of the 200 plus podcast's, it also got me into a fuck load of another podcasts like Bill Burr's, Duncan Trussell's, Talkin' Shit with Jim Jefferies and Eddie Ifft and the Deathsquad podcast network run by #JRE'S very own Redban!!!    Listening to these improved the way I think and act, it brought to light a full host of new comics and interesting type's like Tim Ferris and Graham Hancock and these podcast's also hooked me up with the Deathsquad Family on twitter a giant group of like minded bad mutha fucka's from all over the world and without one one them this blog wouldn't have been written.

The first time I heard Bert Kreischer on JRE I was in fits laughing at work getting weird looks from passing by workmen. After that am always looking out for Bert on JRE or the Ice House Chronicles, he's also been on Duncan Trussells and Marc Maron's.

Deathsquad Scotland, Bert and Buckfast (note bert is sitting down here cos he's fucking giant)

So I got to thank again @mish_the_dish on twitter, I was Having a cunt of a week both my kids were ill and I was trapped in the house, I didn't know Bert was in Scotland and Mish tweeted Bert saying if your in Scotland you gotta meet Deathsquad OG'S myself and @gspotthemaster, Bert retweeted and I was all over that shit, Finally with some back and forward tweets with Powerful Bert, it was on!!! Friday 1st of June in the capital Edinburgh the first DEATHSQUAD SCOTLAND MEET UP.

I headed in with @weerambo fellow OG and @andymac_01 was coming in later unlucky for @gspotthemaster he had to work and spend his night beating off and crying. 7pm in the filling station am looking around went a spot this giant shouldered man, "POWERFUL BERT KREISCHER!!" he turns and it's the big man himself. We were talking about his stay in Scotland where he's filming a TV show for the travel channel in the states called TRIP FLIP it's sounds pretty cool I'll be checking it out. Now I had a load of questions for Bert about his insane life from being the number 1 party animal in the country by Rolling Stone magazine to being a comic and travelling the world with his TV shows were he fought BJJ legends the Gracies and got gored by a giant fucking bull!!! the man's mental. But before I could ask any these loaded questions Bert asked If we had seen the new JRE "you guys got any gossip" so like old ladies at bunch we started to gossip about podcasts and all my questions went out the window, because in that moment instead of feeling like a fan I felt like I knew the guy for years. So easy to talk to because he's also a fan of the podcast's just as much as the rest of the Deathsquad family.

So we broke down the Bobcat Goldthwait episode, Then  I was like I you heard the latest Joey coco Diaz AKA @madflavor one? Bert wasn't up to date so I was telling him about Joey going crazy about RANCH DRESSING and the now infamous line "IT'S EITHER BLUE CHEESE WITH WINGS OR GO FUCK YOUR MUTHA!!!" Bert was killing himself laughing with his unmistakeable laugh which was awesome to heard in person haha. He then told us some Joey Diaz stories with all three of us doing our best Joey Diaz voices. Then he pulled out his iphone and let me hear a voicemail from Joe Rogan "POWERFUL BERT KREISCHER!!!!" says Joe then he was telling us just how an amazing friend Joe is and how the podcast has changed his life, Me too I said same with like everyone I know that listen's. Great to see Bert had the same thoughts on the show as myself.

We spoke about our favourite comics  like Bill Burr, Doug Stanhope and Louis CK with Bert adding some insider stories which were amazing to hear. Then we presented Bert with BUCKFAST TONIC WINE!! a drink made by holy monks and the cause of the most domestic violence in the west of Sotland, Bert laughed took a picture of it and tweeted it. He said am going to keep this for the next Ice House Chronicles podcast. Lets hope he does that would be crazy.

Also to add Bert wouldn't let us buy drinks he bought them all. And I think he fought it was crazy being 1000's of miles away and finding Scottish men tracking him down and yelling POWERFUL BERT KREISCHER AND THE MACHINE at him. Also some american guy came at of a photo with Bert he was a fan of his TV show which is mainly a travel show I think. I thought it was weird that this guy only knows Bert for being a TV host and Likely didn't know Bert was the guy that won a collage election by standing up in class and shitting in a pizza box, or that he robbed a train of his class mates in Russia with Russian gangster's in THE MACHINE!! STORY.

Bert's crew showed up for a beer and  his producer reminded him of some voice over work he had to do. I think it meant don't get fucking drunk bert!!! My buddy @andymac_01 showed up we broke down some Scottish terms for him like am fuckin streaming (i am drunk) and Fannybaws, Bert "what's fannybaws?" well Bert it's fanny in the UK means Vagina and Baws in Scotland mean your balls or sack, so for some reason we combined Vagina and balls to make the word Fannybaws!!! !Bert so it's means VaginaBalls?? HAHAHAHA  I LIKE THAT BETTER AM GOING TO USE THAT" also I got Bert to phone @gspotthermaster who was gutted he couldn't be there. Bert called I think G yelled THE MACHINE and Bert was pissing himself cool moment.

Bert's crew told him it was time to go, @WEERAMBO demanded he bought a round of shots for THE MACHINE we banged them out took some photos I ripped my hoodie off to expose the MACHINE T-SHIRT we all got amped shouting THE MACHINE and POWERFUL BERT KREISCHER to a baffled Edinburgh pub that didn't know what the fuck was going on. Standing next to Bert I didn't think he would be such a big guy "did you play football Bert" yeah "your a big fucking guy" Bert: in his Joe Rogan voice "KETTLEBELLS SON!!!" and off he went.

A shot with the Machine!!

So Deathsquad I know this blog is a bit of a nuthugger but the guys fucking awesome easy to talk to, got lots of time for his fans and Deathsquad peeps I have met a few comics and mma fighter's now and this was easily the best experience with shooting the shit with one of these guys. Honestly like I said with in 5 seconds of meeting I felt more of a mate of his than a creepy fan.

To Deathsquad thanks for being such cool mutha fuckas and again @mish_the_dish you set up one of the best moments of the year of me #KNUCKLES and to THE MACHINE, POWERFUL!!! BERT KREISCHER for the drinks and the super fun night

PRAISE ODIN
THE SHOGUN

The Comedy Connoisseur

Since around 19.... I started going to live music concerts, and for about 5 years I just Blitzed every Live gig I could get to some Highlights for me where Rage Against The Machine, The Prodigy, Oasis, Foo Fighters, The Black Keys, Weezer, Tenacious D , The Cribs and all time best THE WHO!!!! really I have seen a fuck load of bands, singers and rap acts. And I still enjoyed it saw The black keys just at the start of the year, but the few years back I when to 30ish gigs a year and T in the Park. Now I can't been fucked with it as much most music is shite the last 3 years. So instead of listening to the 16,000 songs on my ipod I have build up over the years  I switch to mainly Podcasts like THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE, JIM JEFFERIES AND EDDIE IFFT TALKIN SHIT. Am I weekly listener to about 11 different podcasts a week. Podcasts are where people can speak there mind without censor and after listening to these for around 2 years it's hard to watch a chat show or listen to a radio DJ due to the super falseness of the way they talk .

Anyway due to listening to mostly american podcast's it has opened up the world of stand up comedy. Because in the uk there are some arena filling comics but a lot of them aren't my taste like Micheal  Mcintyre. His comedy is like sitting on a bus or the different ways to hoover your house and he fills arenas full of dumb fucks who just like slow balls thrown at them. The UK does have some crushers.... I like Ricky Gervais this first two specials animals and politics are brilliant. Frankie Boyle's good even if he's a little over the line at times and Kevin Bridges is also really funny both of them are Scottish. My favourite UK comic has to be Stewart Lee really witty well constructed bits. There's a youtube video where he's in the stand in Glasgow ripping the movie Braveheart and William Wallace to sherds in front of a Scottish crowd when he's an English man maybe the bravest thing anyone has done in human history and he got away with it and it was hilarious.

But  from listening to podcasts opened me up to a lot of new guys here's my personal top five comics right now!!!

1. Louis C.K
2. Doug Stanhope
3. Bill Burr
4. Jim Jefferies
5. Joe Rogan

The list is comics still working regular right now all time comics well big fan of Chris Rock, George Carlin, Richard Pryor ..... etc

So instead of Live Music as my main go to for a night out I thought lets go see some stand up.

First up Tom Green was in Edinburgh I thought he would have some crazy stories to tell from his life but he mainly done JOKE JOKES!! was still fun to see Tom loved Freddy got Fingered growing up...But I already done a blog about this show so look that up.

Next was a week later and Jackasses Steve O was doing a show. Steve O was really fuckin funny lots of stories of his crazy life and tales of his problems with drugs. Was really surprised how good his show was and he even through in some token stunts.

I was in London last year me and my cousin flew down to see my uncle... but I also timed it around Bill Burr's only UK show but it was sold out I was gutted I was a big fan of his podcast his utube clips and his specials which I had watched countless times. At a last attempt I went to the Leicester square theatre. And luckily some guys friend didn't show up and sold me the ticket for face value SHAZAM. So I saw the show maybe the hardest I have laughed in my life just a solid crusher of a set I can't work out why he's not a big name in the UK he's miles better than almost everyone of the UK comics. Also he met everyone in the crowd and gave them a free dvd of one of his specials which was fuckin awesome of the guy

Then just a few weeks ago my friend Gregg hooked us up with Doug Stanhope tickets. Doug's a modern legend in stand up some say he's the new bill hicks I think he's a lot better than Bill Hicks better points and He's funnier!!!. His set seemed to be all new stuff as he had just released his special a few weeks earlier. His set was really good he had a run in with this CUNTY UK writer over this http://www.dougstanhope.com/journal/2012/4/7/who-reads-these-turkeys.html and he trashed over about 20 minutes onstage over something that had just happened a week ago it was amazing he destroyed her. Then he finished with a bit about how every country disses america and how great it is to live there. I would do it no justice writing it in better detail it fucking crushed!!!. Also his support act Henry Phillips which I heard on JIM and Eddies podcast was brilliant too he sang these amazing funny songs hope to catch the guy again one day. After the show me and G are whores for a quick photo with the comic as its cool to post on FB or twitter I had met tom, steve o and bill burr. And I really think Doug will be at Bill Hicks status one day so It would be cool to meet the man.

At the mech table there was no Doug just his writer Bingo this crazy lazy lady with blue hair and a snow white dress on. We got talking to her she was really cool but said Doug won't be out because it was a large gig and there's too many too people to meet. So she gave us a free signed poster of Doug which was awesome of her to do. So me and G decided to be creepy stalkers and wait outside a few minutes so we just talked shit to Bingo till Doug came out we got the photo and it was a great night. And would say to anyone to get a hold of any of Doug Stanhope's work its all good!!

me and doug stanhope

me and tom green

me and steve O

Hopefully this year Me and my comedy tag team partner @gspotthemaster will see some more comics this years. Already have frankie boyle tickets, Jim Jefferies Is coming later in the year. But top of the list is Louis CK becaues he's my favourite right now and set the bar so high for everyone else and Joe Rogan because am a psycho fan of his podcast and will go see anyone of the comic guests from the show like Bert the Machine  Kreischer 

Train All Day Joe Rogan Podcast BY Night.....ALL DAY!!!

THE SHOGUN

The Goonies... Revisited

I was born in 1984 so I grew up loving  the big 80's blockbusters like Indiana Jones, Back to the future etc...And I loved the Goonies big time still do!!!..The movie about the bunch of kids a Asian, a fat kid, a hobbit, Josh Brolin and my Favourite Corey "MOUTH" Feldman. The kids go on a treasure hunt to find ONE EYED WILLIES lost pirate Gold  to save there town. Chased by the evil Fratelli's and with a super gay 80's soundtrack by Cyndi Lauper the movie is GOLD GOLD GOLD.


But I have had a beef with this movie all my life until now, an unanswered question if you will, A question as big as, Is there a God?  Why are most women crazy?  and What time is the pizza coming at? But really this one scene bugged me forever. At the end of the movie after the goonies have found the gold and escaped the Fratellis. The Goonies are greeted by there parents and the press. No one believes there story, until they find a bag of jewels the press goes crazy the goonies tell them about the Fratellis, the fight with the giant octopus, one eyed willy and the pirate ship. Wait a fucking second WHAT FIGHT WITH AN GIANT OCTOPUS YOU LITTLE LAIRING FUCKERS? 

This was the moment that got me the talk of an Octopus, I have saw this movie a million times and has a kid the talk of a Giant Octopus fight was super exciting to me and the talk of it with no scene in the movie I felt cheated. Turns out I was reading about the 50 best deleted scenes in movie history. One scene was from KILL BILL another movie I love with Bill fighting Michael Jai White "Black Dynamite" himself in a samurai sword fight. The scene is awesome and should have made the final cut. I have put this scene (ABOVE) A MUST FOR A KILL BILL FAN.


Another scene was from the GOONIES with.......wait for it...........A GIANT MUTHA FUCKIN OCTOPUS!!! holy fuck I have wanted this moment all my life. Take a second  "shogun" relax and breath....and click play to the UTUBE LINK

REALLY!!!! what the fuck was that weak shit.....finding this scene was like someone giving you a lovely ice cream cone "oh thanks kind sir" too find they have poked dog shit in the middle of it. I totally see now why this scene wasn't in the final cut. The octopus makes the Shark in the 1977 JAWS look like one of those big blue cat cunts in Avatar. Plus the scene is dumb as shit hahaha they defeat the octopus by shoving a old skool tape walkman in its beak thing blasting some 80's cheese and the ocotpus can't handle it. A part of me wishes I didn't see this now cause in my mental head the goonies battle with the giant Octopus was the stuff of Legend then again maybe not. Anyway heres Cyndi Lauper's GOOD ENOUGH ENJOY STAY BLACK!!!! BITCHES

AS ALWAYS FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @SHOGUNSKILLING LOVE THE FEEDBACK


HOLLA
THE SHOGUN

Project Bad Mutha Fucka

When I lost my Job 10 months ago I told myself I was going to make myself a bad mutha fucka to make myself strong mentally and physically and do more with my life. I have suffered from depression for years I keep it in check most of the time sometimes a flip and am not a nice person and project anger at people. Which wasn't in my nature before I was 18. Over the last few years I lost my sister who died 2 years ago on Christmas eve she had various disability's doctors said she would have died at 2 years old she didn't she lived till 23 and was the happiest person I have ever known  and no mater how bad life got for her she always had a smile on her face thats powerful to me cause here I am moaning about my life when my own situation isn't that bad. I also have two kids my oldest daughter has down syndrome which took me years to deal with. I kinda feel I got a double kick in the ball sack with my sister and daughter both having special needs. So my life isn't the same or as easy has a lot of people but also isn't has bad has how other unfortunate  people live like in the FUCKING CONGO. I started to use positive thinking more I lost my job but I thought FUCK IT I hated the fucking job anyway was a big reason why I was has depressed in the first place. Working on a dirty building site through all weathers in a dead end job with a bunch of cunts that for men like to talk about one another and back stab each other. Hanging around negative assholes ain't good for the soul.


For the past 10 months I have been training weights doing kettlebells and some mma training lost some grained weight I had put on...I also put in more time with the kids done some odd jobs and sold muscle supplements for money to keep the family going and get the kids there Xmas gifts. But all in all am not happy with my effort and results of being a bad mutha fucker. am just going to write out some things am going to amp up or try out to be the improved super human cos that's all I want to be. Am not a new year resolution person but with the distraction of Xmas out the way 1st of January is a good place to restart what I have been doing. So here's what am working on rite now.


Writing Blogs : I started this blog in august. Am shit at writing and spelling but am trying. I write about goofy things sometimes in a jokey manner or I'll do something on a subject I enjoy or I am looking into. I also am planning on doing Guinea pig blogs which I learned from author TIM FERRIES this is where I'll data crunch on experiments on my self over a number of weeks like maybe a new kettlebell/mma  workout how my how a diet is going, life changes trying new things like rock climbing or trying yoga and blogging and data crunching about it will help keep me focused on the task at hand. Plus I still want to write about goofy shit as well.


4 Hour Body : this is a book by Tim Ferries I have still to work though it all. Its about becoming the superhuman. This book is my bible right now  covers a whole range of data on the human body.Also been running it with from cool friends from twitter doing the same thing so we're helping each other with tips and giving support to one an other which is kinda cool.  Its not a book you read from start to finish in fact you only have to read the sections that apply to you such as Rapid weight loss, Muscle building, mental health, improved sleeping, Running endurance, insane strength and being better at FUCKING THE SHIT out your partner in the bedroom. All of which are tested and guinea pigged by Tim himself he cut the fat off a lot of workouts meaning less is really more workout wise. The only part I tried so far was the weight loss in two weeks I lost around 10lbs in a diet where you eat 6 times a day and one day a week you have a cheat day where you eat junk all day and you still lose weight. The science is all the book here's Tim's website for details http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/ and     http://www.fourhourbody.com/ so am going to guinea pig some of this stuff myself.


Fight Training : Am a crazy combat sport fan mainly MMA which I have trained in for over 4 years apart from a Russian fist fight which I broke my hand in I haven't fought in MMA or even a grappling comp. The reason or excuse is working and family life then trying to get in fight shape as proved hard for me even now I have no job I still been having trouble working out as much as I can. Part of this is sometimes laziness like I have a new DVD boxset or video game so I GO FUCK IT AM NOT TRAINING!! is not the right approach. So the move is a have set various workout plans to work around family life like I have my eye on 3 mma gyms to bounce around on different days of the week. I enjoy Russian Combat Sambo with coach Vadim which I when to for a few months so plan on getting back to that and compete in sambo later in the year. Also Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and wrestling I had my grappling skills coming along fine at one point and slipped away it a bit.... game plan there 3 gyms with high level BJJ coaches in Wishaw, Coatbridge and Glasgow here in Scotland which I have friends in each gym to go to. Also done a few weeks with the UK commonwealth wrestling team going back there could be a big help for me. If I don't have money or am watching the kids my back up plan is to train at home or close to home. I have already been training at my Uncles garage with a little gym set up with weights and punch bags which costs me nothing or I train in my garden with my pair of 16kg Kettlebells. Striking is my main love combat wise with years of Thai boxing and boxing I still feel I have a lot of improvements here so work on this again is needed also various boxing and Thai boxing gyms to check out in my area. So I got myself a new bad boy gym bag, focus mitts I already have Fairtex Thai pads and a Gi but I would like a better Gi. Goals here to compete in grappling and sambo comps and if I get fight fit a fight in mma or Thai boxing will be on the cards but the 4 hour body diet runs hand in hand with this to get my body fat % down.


Trying New Things : Theres a shit load of stuff I want to get round to something am starting right away is Yoga. The main reason is it helps with stress gives you a better peace of mind I want to know if the ZEN state is real am telling you those ancient Asian dudes were on to something. I have been getting a lot of on off headaches and lower back pain and a lot of flexibly I had is gone. Am hoping this balances me out a bit more and is the YING to weight lifting or smashing Thai pads YANG. I ordered Rodney Yee's Power Yoga heard he's one of the best. http://www.yeeyoga.com/ THERES HIS WEBPAGE IF YOU WANT TO CHECK THAT OUT. Also for the same reasons I going to try out the Isolation Tank soon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isolation_tank. And down the line some outdoor extreme sports I would like to check out maybe rock climbing or snowboarding


Nutrition: with my training you need to feed your body the right stuff the 4 hour body has taught me more about Nutrition which before I ate like shit and then trained at times I would get pretty fit but I would look the same body wise because my nutrition wasn't good. So along with my 4 hour body diet I'll try different supplements and record the results like protein from muscle phram  http://musclepharm.com/ am also for the first time trying out some mental Nutrition along with trying Yoga am trying out Alpha Brian http://www.onnit.com/alphabrain/ should be here soon from this you get  lucid dreams, mental drive, focus, memory, and mental acuity. to name some of the benefits. And 5HTP which I have heard good things about. So I'll data crunch about all these things and hope for good results from the mma ,weights, yoga and Nutrition and be as honest as I can with the results I get.


Enjoying Life : this is the main thing sometimes family life is stressful and can distract you from your personal goals. But without taking away time trying to be a good dad. This year  I would like to go to Holland and Train at one of the world famous kickboxing camps for maybe a week or two, also my game plan is to check out more stand up comedy which am becoming a massive fan of this year I saw and met Steve O,Tom Green and Bill Burr. This I already have a ticket for the crusher Doug Stanhope and hope to get tickets for Joe Rogan, Jim Jefferies, Bill Burr again and The Machine Bert Kreischer. I have always watched live music the last while not so much last one was the Arctic Monkeys. Next Year the Black Keys to start the year and T in the Park I hope with the return of The Stones Roses one of my favourite bands ever. I also like to smoke the good stuff now and will be getting into that more aswell. Attend a UFC event again would be cool.


My main Focus is not to sit around to much and watch TV and play video games am looking into different career paths as well like short college courses to learn new things. Was thinking Photography or cinematography or something along the lines of sports and nutrition and kettlebell courses. Sitting around is fun too but I maybe do to much so Project Bad Mutha Fucka is the name of my plan. What is a Bad Mutha Fucka well I don't know its just a silly name. But My goal is to be as much of a superhuman as I can be to be cool to people and encourage positive thinking because we're only here for a short time. No point worrying about past fuck ups shine a positive light on things don't worry about martial bull shit spend your time and money on experiences weather its something you already love or new shit better than having nothing but a bunch of shiny shit to show for your life. Really this blog is just for me to kick myself in the right path, So enjoy 2012 It could be the last one if the Mayans where right. as always @shogunskilling on twitter if your a savage and want to shoot the shit


DEATHSQUAD ALL DAY
THE SHOGUN

UFC 140....AFTERMATH

Okay so I done my picks post how for my aftermath where I went right and wrong and whats next with the fighters of UFC 140


Mark Hominick (20-9-0 ) vs. Chan Sung Jung (11-3-0) ...I had Mark taking this by better boxing and if you seen the event I was off by a long mile. They touch gloves Mark throws a crazy looping left hook Jung steps out of reach steps back in with a perfect  right cross floors Hominick and finishes with a flurry of ground and pound in 7 SECONDS!!! of the first round WINNER Chan Sung Jung..... Whats next after two great wins in the UFC Chan should jump right in there again with the winner of Diego Nunes vs Manny Gamburyan at ufc 141 or Tyson Griffen could be a good move since Jose Aldo is running out of toys to play with.


Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (19-5) vs. Tito Ortiz (16-9-1) This one I had Lil Nog on points. The fight started Ortiz came in guns blazing done well the first part of the round then Lil nog got his higher level boxing going caught Tito with a flurry had him in trouble dropped him with a beautiful knee Ortiz hit the mat and Lil Nog ground and pounded away with hard shots to the body till the ref stopped the fight. Good effort by Tito maybe his last fight I would like to see one more the guy does bring IT maybe against Forrest Griffen for a third time or Rich Franklin would make sense. As for Lil Nog theres only one guy that makes sense to me a rematch with Shogun Rua there first fight was a classic at the pride LHW 2005 gp which shogun won a close fight old skool fans would find this mouthwatering. These ain't wrestlers so your going to get good stand up and maybe good bbj showing for the fans GET IT DONE JOE SILVA 

FRANK MIR VS BIG NOG...OHH DON'T LOOK SNAP!!!

 Frank Mir (15-5) vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira 2 (33-6-1) the talking point of the night in this crazy one round war. I like Mir but I love big Nog. I picked Mir 2nd round tko here I fought Mir had improved more. The round starts Nog gets right in there they box a bit a Little cage control battle Mir gets a takedown Nog battles back up then picks Mir apart with sharp boxing sending him to the floor Nog ground and pounds a little Mir looks out (Now if Nog stayed here and fired in some rapid punches I beileve the Ref would have stopped it my heart was going at this point thinking NOG had it) But Nog slips under for a  guillotine choke doesn't get it Mir recovers grabs a Kimura Nog rolls Mir but Nog didn't steady the position so Mir rolled him again cranks the hold and what happen next was both spectacular and horrible He breaks Big Nog's Arm Nog taps as it breaks fight over HOLY SHEEP DIP it was crazy!!! what I said in my picks blog I want to see some boxing then some BJJ from the two best heavyweight BJJ artists in the game. I thought Nog looked good up till the snap word is hes out for 9 months if he comes back I don't know whats next maybe thats it for him hes had a long career of wars but if he comes back maybe a guy like Roy Nelson could be a good move. As for Frank Mir he stays on hold for maybe stepping in for Overeem vs Lesnar then VS champ Dos Stanos incase one gets injured. Or a fight with former champ Cain Velasquez if hes ready to go.

Jones walks away after brutal choke out of lyoto

  Champ Jon Jones vs. Lyoto Machida....The title fight I had Jones winning in the 3 round The FIRST round Machida controled Jones with sharper strikeing good in out movements Jones seem a little lost trying to get Lyoto . Lyoto landed some soild kicks and punches and even had Jones on the back foot. Round 2 was still Lyoto to begin with then Jones gets it to the floor lands a big elbow cuts Lyoto open he gets back to his feet the ref stops the check the cut. They fight again Jones lands a big punches drops Lyoto. Machida gets back up but hes still out of there Jones kind of standing guillotined him I think it was an old catch wrestling move chokes Lyoto standing till hes not moving The ref steps in Jones drops Lyoto to the ground out cold which I fought was very unclassy he must have felt Lyoto going out just to drop him and walk away but maybe it was just the heat of the moment. Anyway Jon Jones wins in brutal fashion again I put him at No2 pound for pound now because of the big names he has crushed and stopped the such a short time. He may be No 1 but Anderson Silva has been on a roll from 2005/6 so hes still Number 1 at the moment. Next for him the winner of Rashad Evans vs Phil Davies or Dan Henderson may be in the mix also. As for Lyoto the loser of Rashad Evans vs Phil Davies and again if Hendo doesn't get a title shot Machida vs Henderson would be fun. IF YOU WANT TO TALK MMA FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @SHOGUNSKILLING


AWESOME EVENT AGAIN
THE SHOGUN

UFC 140: Jones vs. Machida....PICKS

Okay am a fanatical fight fan so I decided to give the world my fight picks and aftermath of chosen events I know what all you guys really need to know what a 5,8 slightly overweight pasty Scottish guy thinks about this stuff so lets crack on first one.


UFC 140 from  Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Mark Hominick (20-9-0 ) vs. Chan Sung Jung (11-3-0) ....Good chance this is fight of the night two good guys Jung (the Korean Zombie) star of the epic WEC fight with Leonard Garcia straight from a rocky movie Jung lost on points but I feel he got robbed in that fight, So they rematched in the UFC and Jung won Via (the first ever twister in the ufc in round 2) Jung looked really good and made some big improvements. Hominick coming off his title losing effort against Jose Aldo jr was an epic battle and I became a fan due to this fight. He went into the fight an underdog against the almost untouchable Aldo got dropped a few times had some great exchanges him self and suffered a giant Hematoma to bounce back in the final round to dominate  the champ. He lost the fight but showed crazy heart and got himself a ton of new fans....I think Mark Hominick Takes this on points his boxing is crisper than Jung's and he done fine on the ground with the Champ Aldo a think Mark will be confidant after the war with the champ also a factor will be the death of this coach and close friend Shawn Tompkins could drive Mark to a big Win infront of his home crowd...Mark Hominick unanimous decision




Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (19-5) vs. Tito Ortiz (16-9-1) Am looking forward to this one Tito has looked good this year after a few dodgy years finally getting a win against Ryan Bader and a good showing for his 2 weeks notice fight against Rashad Evans even thou he lose lost he fought hard in a fun fight. Lil Nog needs a win too his weakness is the wrestling which Tito has but his Bjj is good and his boxing is excellent he lost to Bader and Davies because of wrestling but his takedown defence was good the first half of the Davies fight I think a little more improvement there Tito doesn't get it to the ground then we'll see a boxing match Tito training with BJ Penn's boxing coach  could help but I think Nogueira gets it done maybe tko but Tito's is hard to finish so I'll go with points again. should be a great fight for the old skool fans Nog from Pride and Tito Early UFC.....Antonio Rogerio Nogueira unanimous decision

Frank Mir (15-5) vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira 2 (33-6-1)  The rematch to the 2008 fight which Mir won easy via tko in round 2 both guys have won and lose after this Mir winning this last 2 showing more improved in the stand up. Big Nog won his last fight by KO after a long lay off. Am a big Nogueira fan I hope he wins the old pride fights where he takes a beating and comes back to win are classics and I was jumping about crazy when he came back from injuries to KO Brendan Schab. But I have Frank Mir by the same result as last time TKO 2nd round I think Mir as improved more in three years hes 20 pounds heavier and moves better in the stand up using angles and crisp combos but Nog has proved us wrong before I would like to see these guys box a bit then see who has the better BJJ this time but anyway...Frank Mir TKO ROUND 2

 Champ Jon Jones vs. Lyoto Machida (for light-heavyweight title) The Main event the former champ Machida gets his shot due to Evans not being Healthy but all these top 10 guys make for main event worthy fights Lyoto like Jones was the unstoppable force just a few years ago untouchable until he fought Shogun he won but nearly everyone said Shogun won so they rematched and Shogun destroyed Lyoto in the first round. Then he lost a close fight to Rampage Jackson after that he came back beating my hero Randy Couture with a crazy crane kick right out of the karate kid. Randy was 48 but Lyoto looked good with footwork and keeping Couture at range But hes fighting Jon Jones the champ on his forth fight this year no one as even came close with this guy yet beating Bader by sub Shogun by beatdown and Jackson by sub all big name guys hes shaping up right now that hes going to be a giant superstar. Both these guys throw crazy kicks, knees ,elbows and trips and good ground game. Can Lyoto win YES at this level anyone can win with those little gloves but will he win I can't see it Lyoto has slick stand up but so does Jones and hes bigger stronger faster his reach is unreal his throws are unreal he gets knock outS and subs he does it all. I hope for a back and forward fight maybe Jones may show some cracks in his game with this being his forth fight this year. I see it a slow start then Jones picking him apart for a tko round 3 its to hard to pick against the guy right now but we'll see.....Jon Jones Tko round 3 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

THE SHOGUN

I Pity the Fool That Painted My Face

As I get older am forgetting large parts of my life mostly my heavy party days of 14 to 18 I lost a lot of weekends and blogs posts to these blacked out moments. But remember some things like it was yesterday right back to 4 year old like my  4th birthday party I got this sweet Knight Rider push car it was awesome in November 88. To my dislike a friend of mine was playing in it I told him to get out KITT but he wouldn't so what did I do. I pushed him down the stairs of my mum and dad's flat at the time while he was still inside the push car. He tumbled down crashing to the bottom, you can't do that shit as an adult but as a kid I think I maybe didn't get to eat my birthday cake big deal!!! also Kitt survived the crash. Another memory is my friend @weerambo and his big stupid jacket and 80's mullet haircut  and that one day playing in the moors his boot stuck into the mud never to be found again why is that a big memory for me I don't know.


Also one time out playing I fell down and cut my ball-bag THAT I REMEMBER VERY WELL...OHHH THE BLOOD. One thing I remember that pissed me off all my life is when at a party at the nursery still at 4 it was a fun day of sorts there was a lady doing face paint. Now wait till you read what this CUNT done and I hope she got 1980's aids the strongest aids ever known because of it. I think in 1988 at 4 my favourite TV shows were Knight Rider, The Hulk I liked  Thundercats , He-man (side note...one thing about the he-man cartoon looking back it was gay as fuck I loved it as a kid but it was dumb as fuck I mean when Adam the prince turned into He-man he when from this Brock Lesner build guy with blonde hair and then with POWER OF GREYSKULL he turned into the same person apart from at some point during the power of grey skull bit he died his hair ginger and got a spray tan somewhere on the planet  Eternia and found a outfit worthy of any gay pride festival and no one knew the different just saying it was stupid) and I also loved the A-TEAM.

SEE WHERE DO YOU GET A SPARY TAN IN ETERNIA

So I asked the lady if she could paint my face like MR T she said yes and painted my face. After this was done in my 4 year old head I had just been transformed from a pasty white kid with a bowl cut to a giant muscle bound black guy with a Mohawk. I running around acting tough fighting with other kids shout I PITY THE FOOL AND I AIN'T GETTIN ON NO PLANE!!!! When I needed to take a piss and then I saw my face in the bathroom mirrior was I MR T the giant muscle bound black man with a Mohawk? NO!!! I WASN'T the fucking bitch painted my face as a CAT!!!!! A FUCKING CAT. What person tells a small kid hes Mr T and the whole time hes a cat the other parents must they thought I have mental problems running around thinking am a black guy when am just a big FAGGOTING CAT. Anyway rant over


FUCK YOU  FACE PAINTING BITCH
THE SHOGUN