I KNOW WHAT YOUR THINKING....YES I HAVE SEEN A MAN PUNCH A SHEEP INTO A COMA!!!

Am going to take you back close to ten years ago to one of the most FUCKED UP things i have ever seen. Just a months before my first daughter was born I was 17 and as dumb as they come just drinking and partying all the time it was all I knew. Although I was saving a lot of money for when the baby comes the time was closing in the I knew the partying was coming to an end soon. My mum and dad were going on hoilday so i thought OHH FUCK YESS party time for the full weekend me and a large team of friends got as us scots say ON IT!!!!! Large volumes of merrydown cider and buckfast wine the drinks of choice for young males in scotland from the friday to early monday morning we drank and by the monday there was only two left me and ENTER JOHNNY LOPEZ!!!!!

Johnny Lopez was by miles the craziest friend I have ever had his mum and dad died when he was young leaving him to be brought up by his gran who was very old so johnny really had no one to guide him so he was batshit crazy. He gave his gran a skinhead in her sleep for grounding him also I think I that seen him walk round naked in public at least three times. I kind of felt sorry for him and used to give him old clothes and stuff anyway back to the scene. I remember it was a misty monday morning around 7am we're still hammered drunk so we bagged the last of the merrydown and lifted my 22 air rifle ohhhh jesus!!! and headed into the farmers parks full of sheep and cows. Because we were 17 drunk and had an air rifle we thought it would be super funny to shot 22 slugs into cows assholes and the result YES it was!!!! they would just stand there give you a weird look and go MMMMOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! This was enough fun for me but not Johnny "give me the gun" He said took his jumper and Tshirt off the started marching right up to the cows till he was 2 feet away from it squaded fired and shot it in the udder. I laughed the cow done nothing so this wasn't enough for Johnny he started running around the park chasing sheep till "A GOAT WAN!!!!" Scottish for I got one.

Now the fucked up bit I saw johnny grabbed the sheep by the back of the wool let me stop for a second at this point in the farmers field we were standing next to a railway bridge when a train went pass, so johnny grabbed the back of its wool picked it up head height and slammed it 4/5 times I shit you NOT I stood there with my jaw open and the sheep was now just lying knocked out.....I said to Lopaz "thats enough Johnny" He said "I'll tell you when its had enough" And went to Knee on Belly grabbed the back of the sheep's head and started punching it in the head. Now I have not punched a sheep in the face in my 26 years on this planet but i would think there skulls are pretty hard!!! this didn't phase Johnny had all while he was slamming thunderous punches into its sheepish face until we saw the farmer flying over the park in his quad bike so we ran like a muthafucker jumped fences thou the woods and over a river. So I know this story is pretty sick and horrible but for a moment place yourself in that train on that misty monday morning around 7.50am the rush hour train the busy train not a empty seat on it your a bit sleepy your reading your paper and for a second you have a little look out the window to see A SHIRTLESS MAN HOLDING A SHEEP BY THE BACK OF ITS FUCKING WOOL SLAMMING IT FROM HEAD HEIGHT INTO THE GROUND you can't make that shit up and I don't know if the sheep lived after its ufc style beat down for no reason I hope it did but that was years ago so good chance its been on someones diner plate by now.

After that my daughter was born and I cut a lot of friends off because you can't have sheep punching types around your kids. I haven't seen Johnny in years last I heard he now has a heroin problem..I guess I blogged about this because I think the % of sheep being punched into a coma story isn't high so enjoy or just be disgusted

STAY BAAAAALACK
THE SHOGUN